I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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