We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
