i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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