am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
