you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
