My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
