im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
