Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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