Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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