Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
