did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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