this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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