But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
