Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
