I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
