thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
