just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
