shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
