How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
