What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
