I want to stick my p in your. b.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
