Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
