So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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