The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ladies don't puke and tell
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
