Your tits are I can't wait for
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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