yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
