Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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