The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
