Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
