I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
