I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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