I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
