I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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