But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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