My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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