Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
