I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
