what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
