Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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