Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
