my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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