I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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