Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
