Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
