We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
third nipple confirmed
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My vagina is officially offended.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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