The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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