..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I love you. Go after that dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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