i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
