You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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