i just had sex bonerless
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
