She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
